When Life Feels Chaotic: Learning to Drop Anchor in the Storm

Life with children, work, and home responsibilities rarely goes to plan. After two weeks of school holidays, the house can feel completely upside down, and getting out the door looking half human can feel like a genuine achievement - even for a professional.

When I first started my career, I was young, confident, and believed I had everything figured out. What I lacked then was the deep compassion that only truly developed when I became a mum.

Motherhood taught me something no textbook ever could: life is messy, unpredictable, emotional, and beautifully imperfect. The key to surviving, and sometimes even thriving, is learning how to stay grounded when the storm hits.

The Reality of Parenthood and Everyday Life

Balancing work, home life, and children is a constant juggling act. School holidays, while often looked forward to, can quickly become overwhelming rather than restful.

The toys everywhere. Endless snacks. Interrupted conversations. Constant noise. Trying to meet everyone’s needs whilst forgetting your own.

Even the most organised parent can find themselves feeling overstimulated and exhausted.

I’ve been there too - feeling overwhelmed, forgetting what I was doing halfway through a task, and noticing the frustration building inside me.

The truth is, no matter how much we plan, life rarely follows the script.

Children don’t always cooperate. Deadlines don’t pause. The washing somehow multiplies overnight. And the house certainly doesn’t clean itself.

Accepting this reality is often the first step towards coping with the chaos more compassionately.

What Becoming a Mum Taught Me

Before becoming a parent, I approached my work with structure, clear expectations, and carefully planned interventions. I believed progress should follow a fairly predictable path.

Motherhood changed that completely.

It taught me that flexibility is essential. That compassion matters more than perfection. And that sometimes the most important thing we can do is simply pause and reconnect.

Some of the biggest lessons motherhood has taught me are:

• Plans will change - flexibility is necessary.

• Compassion matters, both for our children and ourselves.

• Chaos does not mean failure.

• Rest and self-care are not luxuries; they are essential.

• Sometimes surviving the day is enough.

Learning to “Drop Anchor”

When life feels overwhelming, I often return to a technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) called dropping anchor.

This simple practice helps us stay grounded during emotional storms.

Imagine being in a small boat during rough seas. The waves may continue, the wind may still blow, but dropping anchor helps keep you steady rather than being completely swept away.

It doesn’t remove the storm - it helps you stay connected and present whilst moving through it.

What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, often known as ACT, is a psychological approach that focuses on accepting difficult thoughts and feelings rather than constantly fighting them.

It encourages us to stay present, make space for emotions without judgement, and continue taking actions that align with our values.

In simple terms, it teaches us how to keep going with compassion, even when life feels difficult.

How to Practise Dropping Anchor

When emotions begin to rise, try:

Pause and breathe:

Take a moment to stop and slow your breathing.

Notice what you’re feeling:

Acknowledge the frustration, overwhelm, anxiety, or anger without trying to push it away.

Ground yourself:

Focus on your senses. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice what you can hear, see, or touch around you.

Reconnect with your values:

Remind yourself what truly matters in this moment - connection, calmness, kindness, support, safety.

Respond rather than react:

Take the next step with intention rather than emotion.

This strategy has helped me countless times - during meltdowns at home, moments of overstimulation in busy places, or simply during the everyday chaos of parenting.

Real-Life Examples

Morning chaos

When everyone is rushing, tempers are rising, and nobody can find their shoes, I pause and remind myself: this moment will pass. I focus on staying calm rather than matching the chaos.

Work interruptions

When work overlaps with parenting demands, I acknowledge the stress rather than fighting against it. Sometimes the priority simply shifts for a while.

Public overwhelm

Busy shops, noise, crying, and overstimulation can feel intense. Instead of panicking, I pause, breathe deeply, and ground myself before carrying on.

Moving Forward Without Shame or Punishment

Dropping anchor does not mean ignoring behaviours or removing boundaries.

It means responding with calmness instead of reacting through frustration.

For example, if a child is having a tantrum, staying grounded allows us to support them safely and calmly. Afterwards, we can still guide, teach, and set clear boundaries without shame, anger, or punishment.

Children do not need perfect parents. They need safe, connected, emotionally regulated adults.

And sometimes, that starts with regulating ourselves first.

Even Professionals Feel Lost Sometimes

It can be easy to assume that professionals always have everything together.

We don’t.

We are human too.

Being both a parent and a professional means navigating emotional storms regularly. The difference is not whether storms happen - it’s how we respond when they do.

Dropping anchor reminds me that it is okay to pause. Okay to reset. Okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes.

Because compassion - for ourselves and for others - is often what carries us through the chaos.